Shyer cats and kittens are really special because, when they are adopted, their new family members will need to take extra time to get the cats used to their new environment, people and possibly other animals. It is important to play with the cats and feed them in a location where the cats can be petted while they are eating. They will quickly begin to associate the gentle touch of a hand with the provision of food. Don’t be too alarmed if the cats or kittens don’t eat for a couple of days when they first arrive. It’s not unusual at all in a stressful situation and they almost always give in on day three.

More tips to speed up the process:

1. During the first few days, even weeks, as far as possible avoid making loud or sudden noises, and always leave an escape route for the cats so that they feel they can protect themselves by retreating to a hiding place. Cats in our care are either in our pens or in foster homes. Those in the pens don’t have the benefit from as much human interaction as we would like so a radio is left on from morning until bedtime to get them used to hearing various noises that they might experience in a home. I choose to leave on Radio 4 as there is such a variety of programmes, including plays, which will provide a greater variety of sounds.
2. Most cats will exhibit shy behaviour when introduced to new environments and it’s perfectly understandable why that should be. Everything in their world has suddenly changed: the people, the smells, the sounds….and that must be very confusing and scary for some. Animals in foster care don’t know they’re in foster care, they think they are ‘home’ so getting used to all the new stuff can take a while. Those that came to us shy will have made a lot of progress but some regression (even a bit of nervous hissing) is to be expected when they go on to their Forever homes. However, that doesn’t mean they will revert back to how shy they were when we first took them into care. Being naturally cautious, cats tend to look for the protection and comfort in a place where they can fully or partially conceal themselves. Pulling them out of that ‘safe’ place is always a mistake as it will only frighten them. Even the gentlest will scratch or even bite when they feel they are under threat. As they become more accustomed to the sights, sounds, people, and animals in the new space and realise that they will not be physically harmed, they will leave their hideaway and seek companionship food, play etc.
3. When reaching out to stroke a shy cat, even one that has already become accustomed to being stroked in foster care, remember not to bring your hand directly toward the cat’s face, as this will startle her. This startled reaction is a natural defence against predators and you, as yet unknown and possibly not ‘safe’, could be an enemy until proven innocent! Stroking gently down the length of the back from behind is much more reassuring. As your cat becomes accustomed to the petting when eating, gradually move the food dish towards a more appropriate place in your home. Cats are “site specific” in that they associate certain behaviour with various locations. Your cat will associate your affection with the food and with the location of the food dish. Even when the food dish is removed to another place, she will think of the location as a safe spot to receive and give affection. When you all know each other and the trust is there, your hand reaching from the front will no longer be seen as a threat. Those tubes of paste-like cat treats that you can buy are really useful as you can squeeze the paste onto your hands and encourage the cat to lick it. Most cats seem to like the stuff (it’s yucky and disgusting as far as I’m concerned) and I’ve had even very shy cats eventually give in to the temptation. Just try to keep it all laid back and casual, looking away if necessary as a raspy tongue cleans all the gunk off your hand.
4. Use toys to engage your cat or kitten in play as this will distract them from their feelings of shyness in their new environment. Simple things like a piece of string drawn across the floor or a table tennis ball work wonders. Sitting on the floor so as not to appear overhead and threatening is good and also lets you draw the string across your legs. As the cat goes after the string it runs over your legs, unwittingly giving and receiving scent i.e. building up a family relationship.
5. Staring right at cats can be seen as threatening when the cat doesn’t know you. In nature, a predator animal staring into the eyes of a prey animal means dinner is about to be served. I’ve found, when trapping ‘feral’ cats for neutering, that I can often be in full sight so long as I’m still and not looking directly at the cats. As soon as eye contact is made the cats are gone, and I’m left standing in a cloud of dust. When you do make eye contact, slowly lower your lids, blink, or close your eyes. You will see him do the same in response. If she is nervous at your touch, the stress can be reduced if again you close your eyes — no predator kills with its eyes closed! However, once that trust is there making eye contact is no longer a problem.
6. Walking around with a ribbon or piece of string tied or dragged behind you is good for encouraging the cat to chase after you to play with the string. If the cat approaches you (thinking she’s being very sly and you don’t know she’s there) just pretend you don’t notice, but stay still and let her have a good sniff around you. It’s all adding up to becoming part of the family!
7. Remember, to a cat you are very big and tall so if you’re sitting on a chair or the floor the cat is much more likely to come and investigate you. At first, pretending not to notice is the best thing to do. Let the cat dictate the pace and all will be well.
8. If the cat runs when you pass her, behave normally but just turn your back when you have to pass her. It’s that eye contact thing again!
9. NEVER yell at or punish your cat. You can get away with telling a dog he has been naughty but cats take offence and think YOU are in the wrong! When I enter our shelters my voice automatically goes down a few notches, even when I’m greeted with the detritus of an overnight party enjoyed by a litter of very naughty kittens (we once had a cat returned because she had overturned a bin when she jumped onto the windowsill!). Shouting at them is useless (just as it is with small children) because it just makes them nervous, not well behaved.
10. Prepare in advance for any vet appointments by serving food or favourite treats in the carrier for a week or so before the appointment. On the appointed day, wait for the cat to go in and close the door. The truth: that sometimes sounds easier than it actually is because cats aren’t stupid!
11. When you pick her up, do it slowly and gently and let her down again as soon as she shows signs of wanting down. That way the trust is built and not lost.
12. Once you’ve won the trust of a shy but gentle cat or kitten the bond is often very strong, even more so that it can be with one used to being handled from birth. Just like people, they have different personalities and some enjoy being fussed over more than others. We get to know the cats and kittens in our care very well and pass on that knowledge to adopters. Some cats are never going to be knee-huggers and we’ll always be honest about that just as we’ll tell you when we know which ones have shown all the signs of wanting to be best pals with us.
13. It’s truly amazing what a bit of time and patience can do and the reward is well worth waiting for.